Imagine being watched, trapped, and abandoned far from home. This is the reality for Kiran, an 'abandoned bride' from India, ensnared in an Australian visa nightmare. Her story is not unique; it's a stark illustration of a growing issue. Kiran's husband, living over *10,000 km** away in Brisbane, kept a constant watch over her through cameras installed in their shared home in northern India. He could monitor her every move, creating a chilling atmosphere of control. 'He would say: ‘I can always see what you do’,' she recalls.
This isn't just a tale of distance; it's a story of broken promises and exploitation. Kiran's marriage, a Sikh ceremony near the India-Pakistan border, led to a life she never imagined. Her husband visited her only four times in India over eight years, each time staying for about a month.
But here's where it gets controversial... Kiran's story is echoed by thousands of Indian women who were promised a new life overseas, only to find themselves deserted. Yasmin Khan, head of the Bangle Foundation, a Queensland-based service supporting South Asian women facing domestic abuse, highlights this phenomenon of 'abandoned brides.' These women are often left behind by their Indian-born husbands living abroad in countries like the UK, Australia, and Canada.
Some of these abandonments are financially motivated, with husbands absconding with the dowry, which, despite being illegal in India since 1961, remains a widespread practice. Others involve using wives for domestic labor for in-laws, a situation some advocates liken to modern slavery. And then there are those cases where visa issues prevent the wife from joining her husband, leaving her stranded.
Human rights campaigners have documented these cases in Australia, where legal recourse can be incredibly complex. In Kiran's case, her husband initially promised a life split between India and Australia. However, when she became pregnant, he told her she would never join him in Australia. 'I came to realize this life was not for me. He had no interest in me. I had just been bought here to take care of others,' she says.
At the time of her marriage, Kiran knew little about her husband, but his permanent residency in Australia, white-collar job, and abstention from alcohol made him an attractive match in her family's eyes. But after a month of marriage, the husband returned to Australia. During his infrequent visits, arguments often turned violent. He controlled her even from afar, ordering her to follow his mother's instructions for domestic duties, including cooking and cleaning for her in-laws. 'He would say I can see you on the camera – make sure what you cook is fresh for my parents,' she says.
By early 2022, Kiran's mental health deteriorated. Community elders in Punjab, considered an epicenter for abandoned brides, urged the family to reunite, prompting her husband to bring her and their children to Australia. 'At that time, I thought God has finally listened to my prayers and I will get to live with my husband, my children will have a father,' Kiran says.
And this is the part most people miss... Upon arriving in Brisbane, she discovered her husband had brought her on a tourist visa instead of a partner visa, which offers a pathway to permanent residency. This meant she had no legal right to stay indefinitely, despite her children being Australian citizens. Khan, who supported Kiran after the separation, notes that her husband's surveillance and control were forms of coercive control, a common issue for many of their clients.
The Bangle Foundation, which relies on state government support, grants, and donations, receives about 1,000 calls annually for help with domestic abuse, visa abuse, and trafficking. 60% of these calls come from women based interstate and abroad. Khan points out that cultural norms, like arranged marriages, can be a barrier for migrant and culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) women seeking help from mainstream services.
Kiran, still in visa limbo, is fighting to stay in Australia with her children, hoping they can bring her the happiness she once sought from her husband.
What do you think? Are there cultural factors that exacerbate this issue? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
*Name has been changed
*If you or someone you know needs help, here are some resources:
- In Australia, the national family violence counselling service is on 1800 737 732.
- In the UK, call the national domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247, or visit Women’s Aid.
- In the US, the domestic violence hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Other international helplines may be found via www.befrienders.org.
